Half-Way
by cutekittenlady
Summary: After discovering a horrible secret about himself Keith's whole life is thrown in disarray. He begins to question if his very memories are fabricated lies. Allura, however, knows that actions and feelings do not lie.


The VR room was the only place Keith could think of to hide after the… reveal.

Allura would never think to look for him here. She hadn't gone near this room since the loss of her father. It had been months, but the wound clearly still burned. Most days she wouldn't even go to the same part of the ship as the VR room unless she absolutely had to.

Keith sat with his back against the wall. The cool wall felt soothing against the back of his head.

How long would it take them to find him?

The castle was a big place, and there were a lot of places to hide. If one of the other paladins found him, Keith could only hope he'd somehow be able to explain himself. Given everything they'd been through together, they would probably at least listen.

Afterall, Keith hadn't taken off with the red lion or completely abandoned the ship. He'd just… run off. Like a scared little kid.

It was embarrassing to admit, but he felt like a scared little kid.

In a moment Keith's whole world flipped on its head.

His past was a bigger mystery than it had ever been before, every assumption he had ever made about his parents was proven false, his very species of origin was now a subject for debate.

Keith had no idea how he was expected to handle all of this. A part of him just wanted to scream in frustration at fate, the universe at large, and every being held within it. Another part of him wanted to curl up into a corner and just… just… _cry_ or something.

Instead Keith just sat on the cold metal floor and stared into space. Unable to conjure up any anger or sadness. All he could feel was confused emptiness and fear of the future.

He'd never felt like this before. Not after getting kicked out of the garrison. Not after Shiro had disappeared. Not even after the death of his parents.

It was a completely new feeling of loss. A loss of control. No matter what happened to him in the past Keith had always felt somewhat in control. He'd carried on after the loss of the only two people in the universe who loved him. He'd managed after losing Shiro to the kerberos incident. He'd even managed after getting booted from the garrison.

Each time Keith had had a choice. Whether to let the loss consume him, or whether to overcome it and regain control of his future. And he'd managed each time.

But now… now Keith couldn't HOW he could possibly overcome the loss of his very humanity.

He was a galra. Or at least one half of one anyway.

If such a basic aspect of his identity had been a lie, how could anything else about him be real.

Had his parents really died? Their bodies had never been found after the accident after all. Were they out in the universe somewhere now? Was he actually born on earth? Did he even HAVE a life on earth? Or had all his memories somehow been fabricated?

It was impossible to say with the galra empire.

Keith couldn't accept it if he was just some kind of tool to be used against the team. If he was some kind of sleeper agent who had blow his cover. Hell even if his memories weren't false, where did that leave him?!

Returning to life on earth was just a fantasy at this point. Assuming he even lived that long.

And then there was the team.

They were the only people in his life he could believe were still real at this point. If only because his memories with them were so fresh in his mind.

How could he possibly expect them to react?

None of them held any love for the galra or their empire.

Shiro had been imprisoned and tortured by them for over a year.

Pidge's family had been torn apart by the empire.

Hunk's kind heart couldn't forgive the treatment of the Balmera or it's people.

Lance had nearly been killed in Sendak's attack on the castle.

Coran had lost much at the hands of Zarkon and his armies long before he had even entered the picture.

And Allura…

Dear god _Allura_.

Keith hugged his legs to his chest and buried his face in his arms.

She'd never be able to look at him again. Even if she put everything aside out of some misplaced sense of duty or forced kindness there was no way she'd look at him the same way she had before. Her eyes would always carry some kind of doubt or lingering discomfort.

They'd been getting along so well too. Like some kind of idiot he'd thought that maybe, just maybe, he could find some kind of stable happiness way out here in space. On this ship. With Allura.

But it was a pointless hope.

He'd never had a chance with her before, and he certainly didn't have one now that he looked like one of Allura's enemies.

The door to the VR room slid open pouring light into the room.

Someone had found him.

Keith hugged himself tighter. As though just by turning in on himself, he could somehow blink himself out of existence.

He didn't dare look up to see who it was. The softness of the steps had already tipped him off to their identity.

"Keith?!" Allura's voice cut into Keith like a knife. "This is where you were?!"

The usually mild mannered tone now dripped with a mix of exhaustion and exasperation. Squeezing his eyes shut, Keith prayed that she'd just say what she wanted and then left him to rot in the corner.

"We've been looking for you everywhere! When we couldn't find you I started to fear that you'd left! But your lion and all the shuttles were still here, so I knew you had to be somewhere on the ship!" Allura's voice shook as she spoke. "Wh-what are you doing in here?!"

Even without looking up Keith could already tell that Allura was struggling. This was the same place she had lost her father for the second time. He had hoped that memory would keep her away from him. Apparently he'd underestimated her.

The princess dropped to her knees at his side and grabbed him by the sleeve.

"Are you even _listening_ to me?!"

Each word was like a new weight on Keith's heart. He didn't want to hear his princess sound so desperate and broken. This wasn't what he'd wanted when he'd hidden here.

He just wanted to give the woman he loved the space she need.

Time to adjust and pretend Keith had never existed.

He'd never wanted to hear her sound as broken as she did now.

"Keith… Keith p-please…." She was crying now. Her hands reaching out and resting on the sides of his face. "Please just… just look at me.

Unwillingly, Keith turned towards Allura and looked deep into those cotton candy blue eyes that were now suffused with tears.

Keith's lips trembled. He'd never wanted this. He never wanted to see her face look so broken and destroyed.

"A-Allura I…" he began. He didn't know what he could say to make her stop crying. There didn't seem to be any proper words. Except for two. "I-I'm sorry… I-I'm so so sorry."

The princess's arms engulfed Keith's shoulders as she pulled him into the tightest hug he'd ever experienced.

"You fool, you stupid stupid fool!" Allura sobbed into his shoulder. "I thought you'd gone away! That I'd never see you again! Don't ever scare me like that again!"

"Sorry." he whispered. "I didn't think you'd want to see me."

Allura gave a snort (which was a sound Keith never thought he'd ever hear from his princess) and released him from the hug.

"Why?" Wiping away the rest of her tears Allura gently touched the tip of Keith's now pointed ears. "Because of this? If I'm being honest it's kind of an attractive improvement."

Ignoring the lighthearted jab at the human race, Keith took her hand from his ears.

"No! B-because of-" he gestured to all the rest of him. "THIS! Doesn't this bother you?! Th-that I look like this?!"

"It doesn't."

"It should!"

He couldn't understand what the princess was trying to say to him.

"I-I'm a GALRA Allura. I-I'm not human anymore! I don't even know if I ever was one in the first place!"

Keith hugged himself, attempting to still his own shaking. Fully aware with each passing second that he was falling apart.

"I dunno what I am or where I'm from! I don't even know where I was born!" His voice was breaking apart and falling to pieces. The tears that burned his cheeks seemed to appear out of nowhere. "I-I-I don't even know if my memories are MINE. I don't know what's real anymore! I don't-"

Allura took his face in her hands and pressed her forehead against his.

"It's okay." she hushed. "Everything's going to be okay."

"I-I don't understand." he sobbed. "How can you stand to look at me right now?!"

"Because it's _you_." Allura's voice was low and gentle. "No matter how you look, you're still my red paladin. The lion accepted you long ago. That was all I ever needed to trust you."

Keith gave a bitter ironic smile. "And the black lion accepted ZARKON at one point."

Allura frowned in disapproval.

"That has nothing to do with you."

"It has everything to do with me! How do you know I won't end up defecting like he did! That I won't betray you and the others like he did!"

For a moment Allura said nothing, she just sat there keeping one hand on Keith's cheek and the other on his shoulder to keep him from bolting.

"Because I know you, Keith."

"You don't know ANYTHING about me! I don't know anything about me! Where i was born, who my parents were-"

"That is NOT what I meant!" she snarled. "I meant YOU. The same person who wanted to stay and defend Arus despite having a whole battleship bearing down on him. The guy who went with me to help the arusians when we thought they needed us! You kicked one of Zarkon's generals! Into a forcefield I generated."

Keith blinked as her rant ended.

"That was all within the first week we knew each other. Since then you've done a lot more."

"I don't know where you're going with this."

"Keith, I know _you_. You're brave, and skilled, and Lance can honestly bait you into doing almost anything like a Ygdrizzl to nectar!"

He didn't bother asking her to elaborate on the idiom.

"You weren't faking any of that were you?" she asked.

"N-no I-"

"You weren't faking when you got all impatient about Lance in the cryopod?"

"I-I wouldn't say I was impatient-"

"And you really were worried when you flew in to rescue Shiro and the Black Lion?"

"Well of course I was! He-"

"And when you took on Zarkon like a suicidal moron, did you honestly think you were going to lose?!"

"I-I… uhm…" he flushed in embarrassment at the memory of the occasion. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't gone in at least a little half cocked. "Th-that's not really the point."

"Yes it is! Zarkon was going to KILL you! If Shiro hadn't shown up when he did, you'd be DEAD right now."

Keith sat in stunned silence as the princess regained her breath.

"That's how I know I can trust you. No spy would be dumb enough to get themselves almost killed the number of times you have."

"I… I don't know how to take that."

"Good, because it's not actually a compliment."

Allura stood up, pulling Keith up along with her.

Gently the princess pressed Keith's forehead to her own as she closed her eyes.

"Nothing about you has changed. It's just that I've learned something new about you. That's all."

Keith closed his own eyes. Just enjoying the feeling of Allura's skin against his own.

"I could never hate you. Not even a little." She whispered quietly taking his hand into her own. "So please, come back with me to see the others. They know you just as well as me. They'll understand."

Keith gripped the princess's hand in his own. Holding it like some kind of lifeline. Fearful that letting go would cause her disappear like a dream.

"Allura?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I know."


End file.
